why can't he?

Gamzee is a stoner troll who is occasionally crazy. They arrived in-game on 2-5-11 and currently live in idk.

age: 6 solar sweeps (aka 13)

origins: Homestuck

app link: MiRaClEs

hmd: HMD

played by: Pen

contact: AIM: pendragon237; Email:; Plurk: talkingsoup


[hide]*1 Setting

  • 2 Personality
  • 3 Abilities & Weaknesses
  • 4 Character Relationships
  • 5 Free Space
  • 6 See Also


Oh boy.

Gamzee is originally from a planet called Alternia, somewhat similar to Earth, except that it has two moons, is often dark and is populated by a humanoid, possibly insect-based species called trolls. The planet is also home to various other creatures including dragons and assorted other monsters of varying size and viciousness--however, trolls are the dominant, sentient species of Alternia. Almost all the trolls on Alternia are actually children--the adult trolls are all off somewhere in space, waging war and generally trying to take over the galaxy.

Trolls are weird! They're typically a pretty angry, violent race, with a harsh caste system based on blood color, children who are raised by monsters known as "lusii" instead of parents, constant tension between highblooded sea dwellers and lowblooded land dwellers, a complicated system of reproduction and four distinct quadrants of romance to top it all off. It's all very complicated and stupid and impossible to explain in one app, so I'll try to save everyone's sanity by just summing up.

Trolls have gray skin and yellow and orange horns of varying shapes and sizes. Some trolls, purplebloods mostly, live in the sea and thus have fins and a collapsing and expanding bladder based cardiovascular system, obviously. Troll blood runs the gamut through the spectrum from candy red to royal purple, with red being on the low end of the caste system and purple being on the high end. All trolls hatch from eggs laid by the Mother Grub, a gigantic grublike creature deep underground. Young trolls spend awhile as grubs before they climb to a good stalactite and spin their cocoons. After wriggling out of the cocoons, a lusus then chooses the young troll and assists them in their trials underground. If they're successful, the troll makes it out alive onto the surface, where they live with their lusus in a hive of their own construction, until they mature. A mature troll can then pursue a career of their choosing and become a Threshecutioner, a Legislacerator, a Subjuggulator and so on.

Troll romance is based on quadrants. Oh god, the quadrants. Basically there is red romance, which is the good kind, and black romance, which is the bad kind, based on feelings of hatred. The quadrants are symbolized by the symbols for ♥ ♠ ♦ and ♣. ♥ is the flushed quadrant refers to standard love with all the usual love-ness going on, and is known as matespritship. ♠ is the caliginous quadrant and refers to something akin to mortal enemies, known as a troll's kismesis. ♦ is the pale quadrant and refers to what are essentially platonic soulmates, called moirails. And finally, ♣ refers to the ashen quadrant, where two trolls who might otherwise be in a caliginous relationship have a third troll who balances them both and acts as their auspistice.

Troll reproduction occurs between trolls in flushed or caliginous relationships. They offer genetic material in a pail appropriate receptacle to the imperial drone, who then brings it to the Mother Grub, who takes the incestuous slurry and...

You know what, let's move on.

Anyway, into this strange, strange world arrived a computer game that one of Gamzee's friends retrieved from some ancient ruins. A different friend who is good with computers was able to adapt it for troll usage. The game is SGRUB, and is an extraordinarily complicated interactive game involving a multi-tiered life-or-death chess game, apocalypse, indestructible demons, alchemy, dream personas who live on moons, and basically everything else you could possibly fathom. Players move through various worlds or levels, killing enemies, collecting materials, solving puzzles, and advancing along their echeladders until the time comes to face down and destroy the black side of the chess game. The end result of the game is the creation of a new universe, and victorious players are allowed access into that universe, where they can do whatever they want.

Unfortunately, Gamzee and his troll friends were playing a doomed session of SGRUB. They beat the game against impossible odds, but at the last second, spacetime tore open in something known as a "scratch" and a demon from another session emerged. The demon laid waste to the entire session and the trolls were forced to retreat to the Veil--a ring of asteroids surrounding Skaia, which is the central hub of the game. There, on some kind of laboratory in the Veil, a clock is counting down to a CRITICAL MOMENT. The trolls recently discovered four other players from a different session--four humans from the universe that the trolls created. Most of the trolls have been trolling the humans incessantly, alternating between just trolling them and actually trying to help them through their game. However, it's a small asteroid, tensions are running high, and trolls are pretty crazy and violent by nature.

And most worrying of all, Gamzee is running out of slime pies.


Gamzee is the nicest, most good-natured, most chillest bro you could ever hope to meet. He is perfectly content to spend his entire day watching the world go by and chatting with friends. He loves chatting with friends since very few people are able to put up with him and all his quirks.

Gamzee belongs to an obscure, Alternia-based cult which circulates around the existence of the Mirthful Messiahs, a group of ROWDY AND CAPRICIOUS MINSTRALS who live on a PARADISE PLANET--AKA the Earth-based Insane Clown Posse. As per the cult's teachings, Gamzee has a keen interest in clowns and all things of a clownish nature, as well as a very healthy appreciation for MiRaClEs. He believes that miracles are literally everywhere and that they constantly make life beautiful. In fact the main purpose of this cult seems to be to fill life with miracles and mirth.

Almost every other word out of Gamzee's mouth is a curse word, but despite his harsh language he is unusually friendly for a troll. He can put up with just about anything from anyone, although he's not always very good at listening to people since he tends to space out a lot. However, he does always try to be friendly to people, even when he's trolling them. Almost nothing fazes or upsets him, and he can take even terrible news in stride. The majority of his existence circulates around being as chill and calm as is humanly I mean trollishly possible. Even when things seem to be very bad, Gamzee will still talk about how a miracle is coming. Similarly, he likes to offer advice to his friends, but this usually is something akin to "just wait, miracles are coming."

Gamzee has a particular liking for sopor slime pies, which he bakes himself. The purpose of sopor slime is to calm and relax trolls while they sleep in their recuperacoons. It isn't really meant to be eaten, but Gamzee doesn't care, and he finds it delicious. The slime acts like a combination of marijuana and Lithium, producing Gamzee's ever-present calm. In this respect he's essentially a stoner, with all the usual affects of a stoner--calm, easily amused, blissful, philosophical, and able to lose himself in something for hours without being bored. He likes to pick things up with his Miracle Modus just so he can watch the colors. He also loves a weird soda called Faygo. Drinking Faygo is referred to as "kicking the wicked elixir" by the cultists.

He has a vast collection of horns--that is, bicycle horns and clown horns. At home they were all scattered around his hive, which meant that he often stepped on them and startled himself. He likes the honking, though, and manages to work honking into basically every conversation he has. The honks are actually meant to be sort of startling. Lately in the Veil he has taken to arranging all of his horns into a pile, which he claims is the best and most relaxing place to sleep in.

Gamzee has a dark side as well. He is apparently descended from a militaristic class of trolls known as Subjuggulators. The purpose and nature of the subjuggulators isn't fully known, but it's likely that they are or were involved in killing and slaughter, possibly even the culling process. It turns out that imbibing sopor slime all the time is the only thing that keeps Gamzee from following this calling. The slime keeps him dazed, irrational and easily distracted, which with anyone else would be bad things. The fact is that the slime is actually destroying his brain, and when he's off the slime, well--he becomes quite rational and quite focused. The only problem is that Gamzee can then make the rational decision to murder everyone around him with what seems to be singular focus. Not only is he a murderous psychopath, he appears to be a smart, calculating one, going so far as to use psychological warfare against his victims. He has also expressed the desire not to just kill his friends, but to maim and mutilate them as well, hopefully after but probably before killing them.

But really, if you just keep him drugged up all the time, Gamzee's a pretty sweet guy :o)

Abilities & WeaknessesEditEdit

Back home while he was playing in his SGRUB session, Gamzee was the Bard of WTF LOLS who knows RAGE. What exactly this means is still being revealed, but essentially it seems to imply that he is unnaturally powerful when it comes to offense. It has been said that Gamzee was the one to do the most damage against the Black King, the final boss of SGRUB. This is supposedly after he had a pretty easygoing time of it--he went through the game with minimal if any level advancement or alchemizing, and even managed to befriend most of the enemies by sharing sopor pie with them. Most of the trolls have some kind of special ability, supernatural or otherwise, and the full extent of Gamzee's have not been revealed yet.

He does have some more normal abilities, however. He can cook, or at the very least bake, or at the very least bake pies. These pies are sopor slime pies. Sopor slime comes from a troll's recuperacoon and is a nurturing, gooey substance that's supposed to calm a troll's darker thoughts and tendencies. You really aren't supposed to eat it. For Gamzee, however, the slime is essential to his well-being, and to the well-being of basically everyone ever. Bad things happen when he doesn't have his slime. Whether he knows this or not is up for debate.

Gamzee is also good at calming people down, sort of. Due to being incredibly chill all the time and generally being a nice guy, he has a calming presence on others and wants nothing more than for everyone around him to chill and be happy. He's good at befriending basically anyone as well.

He has his share of weaknesses, though. He can't keep a thought in his head to save his life and is prone to spacing out for awhile. He's essentially a stoner, so he has a hard time paying attention, focusing, or working up any real degree of motivation for...anything, really. He can unintentionally be incredibly annoying if not migraine-inducing due to his weird way of speaking and typing, and his constant rambling on about miracles. He's incredibly ridiculous in every way, shape and form, so it's hard to take him seriously.

The slime itself is also a weakness. He may or may not be addicted to the stuff. At the very least, he needs it to have any modicum of social functionality. When he's off the slime, he turns into a psychotic, raving death machine who has recently declared his intentions to kill all of his friends.

The moral of the story is that it's always better to do drugs.

Character RelationshipsEditEdit

He like Tavros Nitram.

Free SpaceEditEdit

Embed video? Quote song lyrics? Trivia section? Whatever!

See AlsoEditEdit

Internal and external links of interest. Examples include your character's house page, events they partook in, important canonmates, outside resources for more details on your character, and so on.